New Beginnings

It only took three months in the end, but during that time the weeks seemed so long. 

Cover letters, CVs adapted to the positions. I made sure I kept to some basic rules about what I applied for - always membership related in networks, always European level, always values based. I'd started looking for part time positions, but they were few and far between.

Interviews went well. I talked about my experience, all of it. I deconstructed the burnout, the period afterwards, setting up the association and why I felt ready for something new. I remembered what I loved about the European context, reassuring potential employers that yes, I am Belgian now.

I questioned myself often. Is this what I really want? Is financial stability after four years of ever reducing income enough to compensate for the freedom I've had? Do the personal development work, coaching training and beginnings of a coaching business have less value now? Will I still be able to support the development of my beloved association? What impact is this going to have on the family? I've been so present for so long now, will the kids suffer?

I completed online tests, I imagined myself in various positions with apparently kind and supportive colleagues. I kept hearing the same thing - well suited to the position, impressed by the relevant experience, but someone else had x, y or z. I started thinking maybe it was not the fall back option I'd had in mind all along after all... I've been damaged by a burnout-fuelled gap in my CV, I'm not as young as I was, I'm aiming too high.

When it happened, it happened quickly. A first interview - another positive one with people I could imagine working with in an equality-focused workplace. A promise for news in a week cut short by a job offer later that same day. The surprise replaced by relief flooding in. The feeling that yes, I was right, this is something for me. 

A similar enough context to feel familiar, different enough structure to feel I can learn. Full time but temporary so a perfect test for this new rhythm, new reorganisation of life.

I start next week. The children are ready - Elsie cooked a family meal this week and Molly is saying she will get herself to and from school on her new scooter. Marek is talking about using parental leave to reduce his working time to 80% and I can imagine it all working. Now we just have to see how it goes.