2024 end of year musings

 



I grew up with the phrase 'pride comes before a fall'. It would come back to me if I felt too pleased with myself and made me cautious to celebrate achievement. What if I came across as boastful? What if I was too proud? Would the fall be bigger if I was REALLY proud?

This time five years ago, I was overwhelmed with this life of mine, and headed into burnout. I had a toxic workplace and felt unable to keep up with the demands at home, I was stressed and overloaded.

This time one year ago I was unemployed, and the state had decided it had supported me long enough. I was unsure of where my future led, heading into trying to make coaching work at the same time as keeping Madame Papillon, a project I had been working on since 2020 and which became an official association in 2022, developing and moving forward. I was much more sure of who I was and what I wanted but I was not settled or sure of the path forward.

Now, at the end of 2024, I am coming to the end of a temporary six-month contract with a European anti-discrimination network. I have managed to negotiate a permanent four day per week contract from 1 Jan 2025 on the same salary as I got in the temporary contract. The people I've met and the recognition of my work have been incredible. I am so happy and proud of myself for never saying never and daring to go back into the European Brussels world to reclaim my place in a role I enjoy and which I am good at.

I also heard in the last week that the subsidy that we applied for before the summer and pitched for again in September when we were shortlisted, has been granted! It's amazing news - 33,000 euros for Madame Papillon, and most of that is for my role coordinating and communicating about the project, led by Nathalie. 

So pride? Yes, I'm proud. I'm extremely proud of all I have achieved. I'm proud of having allowed the time to learn all I learned - from project creation to association founding, via coaching training and making new friends along the way. I'm damn proud of being able to use my experience of membership at the European level as well as the local Brussels level. I'm proud of all the unpaid work that I put into the development of this wonderful project Madame Papillon that is being recognised and rewarded. 

If pride comes before a fall, I am no longer going to fear pride.  I've known falls and I know that I can pick myself up again.

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