Fear and sisterhood


A few days ago, Molly, already in a state of some annoyance, saw Louise eating Easter chocolate, got to her feet and shouted. 


‘Hey! That’s my chocolate you’re eating!’


Louise, a look of terror on her face, tried to defend herself. ‘I didn’t know! It was in the box, it’s my box!’ The two boxes were very similar. It was an easy mistake.


Molly stormed about, slamming things and muttering about how she didn’t like other people touching her belongings, especially food! I put my arm around Louise and looked into her teary face. ‘You made a mistake. It’s not so terrible.’ ‘But Molly’s cross’ she said, her eyes wide and worried.


I put extra effort into supporting Molly in the following couple of days. After a period of relative calm she had a couple of meltdowns and I tried different approaches, trying to be patient and understanding, but also losing my cool on occasion. It ended each time in a heart to heart cuddle on the sofa. The second time I got a note explaining what had prompted the explosion and apologising for her meltdown. A huge step forward.


I told her she was wonderful, and that navigating our emotions is something we all have to learn. But we also talked about her tone, her behaviour, and how the way she talks to people and throws things when she’s angry could have an impact on others. ‘Think of your sisters for example’ I said ‘they are the people who will be with you through your life, they will always be there and it hurts my heart when you spend so much time being aggressive and unkind with each other.’


She seemed to consider this, and gave me a big hug. 


Today, the Easter chocolate was out again. The sisters were having a nice chat about their days and we were hurrying them along to get ready for music classes.


Louise went to the kitchen to put her leftover chocolate back in the box and froze. I looked over. She suddenly burst into tears. ‘I took the wrong chocolate again!’ she sobbed, looking in Molly’s direction.


‘Oh love!’ I said, cursing myself for not changing the boxes after that first time. Molly came in and saw Louise’s tear-streaked face. ‘What’s wrong Lou Lou?’ she asked, the concern clear in her voice. ‘I took the wrong one’ Louise admitted fearfully, turning to hide her face in my outstretched arms.


‘It’s ok Louise, it was a mistake’ Molly said, as I rubbed her back and looked in surprise and approval at her reaction. ‘We’re sisters, we can share.’ I smiled at Molly and told Lou that she could replace the missing chocolate if she really wanted to and that we would have to finally put the chocolate into very different boxes so the mistake didn’t happen again.


‘You’ve always got me, I’m sorry I was so angry the other day when you made that mistake’ Molly added. ‘We need to watch out for each other.’


My heart smiled.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

20 weeks down, 20 to go

'Can you feel it yet? Can you feel it moving?' For the past couple of weeks this has been the question on everyone's lips. The answer at first was 'no, it's a bit early yet' followed by 'no! it's so annoying!' and then 'I don't think so...' Mum says it feels like a funny swooshing kind of movement, and the doc tells me he's heard it's a bit like butterflies fluttering around. Other women have continuously told me 'bubbles! it's like bubbles in there.' The thing is when I think of bubbles, I think of clusters of small airy bubbles, dancing about, floating in the breeze. I don't think of big gassy bubbles slowly seeping up through thick layers of mud, suddenly popping at the top and splattering drops of gloopy ooze all around. Which, to be honest, is more like the kind of thing I'm feeling in there. We saw three magpies in the park today. Ten days and we'll know if they were right... or maybe the scan will j...
Read more

homeowner

I was holding a slumbering baby in my arms, looking out of our bedroom window at the snowy scene, when the car pulled up. I didn't think anything of it at first - we often get people parking outside our house - but when the two men got out, I started to take notice. There was something odd about the way they were walking; with purpose but slowly. They were both dressed in dark clothes and looked determined, as if they were actors in a film. The first guy looked back at the second and pointed towards our house. The second walked towards me, through the entrance to our front garden and towards our garage door. I started. What was he doing coming in through our garden? Suddenly I noticed a thumping in my chest and an urge to run. I went through to the bathroom where Marek was showering. 'There's a man trying to get in our garage!' I told him. He turned off the shower and looked at me 'what?' 'There's a man in our front garden' I said. 'It looks ...
Read more

Molly the charmer

We are at a family reunion. I am speaking with one of my Dad's cousins, when Molly appears, and watches our conversation with interest. 'Hello!' the cousin says, and I introduce Molly. 'How old are you Molly?' She holds up three fingers. 'I have a granddaughter the same age as you then! Poppy is three.' Molly looks up at her, confused by the term granddaughter. 'Is that a boy or a dog?' * * * We are at the Center Parcs pool. Six little girls from our family splash in the water, and Molly separates from the crowd to watch a baby playing with her mother. She leans down and starts smiling at the baby. 'Hello Baby!' she says, leaning a bit close, and not being at all careful about where she's splashing water. I wander over and suggest she doesn't crowd the baby, who is happily ignoring Molly. 'What's it called?' Molly asks the mother. 'Freya' the woman says, 'she is called Freya.' 'T...
Read more