Fear and sisterhood


A few days ago, Molly, already in a state of some annoyance, saw Louise eating Easter chocolatem got to her feet and shouted. 


‘Hey! That’s my chocolate you’re eating!’


Louise, a look of terror on her face, tried to defend herself. ‘I didn’t know! It was in the box, it’s my box!’ The two boxes were very similar. It was an easy mistake.


Molly stormed about, slamming things and muttering about how she didn’t like other people touching her belongings, especially food! I put my arm around Louise and looked into her teary face. ‘You made a mistake. It’s not so terrible.’ ‘But Molly’s cross’ she said, her eyes wide and worried.


I put extra effort into supporting Molly in the following couple of days. After a period of relative calm she had a couple of meltdowns and I tried different approaches, trying to be patient and understanding, but also losing my cool on occasion. It ended each time in a heart to heart cuddle on the sofa. The second time I got a note explaining what had prompted the explosion and apologising for her meltdown. A huge step forward.


I told her she was wonderful, and that navigating our emotions is something we all have to learn. But we also talked about her tone, her behaviour, and how the way she talks to people and throws things when she’s angry could have an impact on others. ‘Think of your sisters for example’ I said ‘they are the people who will be with you through your life, they will always be there and it hurts my heart when you spend so much time being aggressive and unkind with each other.’


She seemed to consider this, and gave me a big hug. 


Today, the Easter chocolate was out again. The sisters were having a nice chat about their days and we were hurrying them along to get ready for music classes.


Louise went to the kitchen to put her leftover chocolate back in the box and froze. I looked over. She suddenly burst into tears. ‘I took the wrong chocolate again!’ she sobbed, looking in Molly’s direction.


‘Oh love!’ I said, cursing myself for not changing the boxes after that first time. Molly came in and saw Louise’s tear-streaked face. ‘What’s wrong Lou Lou?’ she asked, the concern clear in her voice. ‘I took the wrong one’ Louise admitted fearfully, turning to hide her face in my outstretched arms.


‘It’s ok Louise, it was a mistake’ Molly said, as I rubbed her back and looked in surprise and approval at her reaction. ‘We’re sisters, we can share.’ I smiled at Molly and told Lou that she could replace the missing chocolate if she really wanted to and that we would have to finally put the chocolate into very different boxes so the mistake didn’t happen again.


‘You’ve always got me, I’m sorry I was so angry the other day when you made that mistake’ Molly added. ‘We need to watch out for each other.’


My heart smiled.




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