2022 the year of the butterfly

We called our burnout project Madame Papillon because of the transformational potential of burnout. The idea that when you are stuck in your crysalis in your burned out state, you cannot imagine the beauty of being a butterfly because you have always been a caterpillar but that actually having that time away from everything else, and turning inwards allows wonderful things to happen and only when you're ready can you reach your full potential. That thing of butterflies needing to break out of the cocoon to have the strength in their wings that they need to fly can be echoed in the personal development process that is necessary.
I used to love singing. All my life I've been in bands and choirs and it was only in recent years that I stopped. Thanks to a contact made through Madame Papillon, I discovered a local community of musicians and other performers and started singing in a choir again. The choir led to a cabaret, which as well as featuring my choir and allowing me to remember the joy of performing in a group, allowed my children to play the accordion, the guitar and recite poetry.

There was a moment backstage just before the first show when the anticipation was building and my girls were giggly and nervous. They suddenly squealed with joy and pointed up at the ceiling. A butterfly fluttered past as if it were in a field of summer flowers rather than a mid-winter dark theatre. I was struck by the sense that my return to music had not just been a rediscovery of what I loved, but an exploration of a new joy brought to my children at the same time. The butterfly was perfect.

A couple of weeks later, we had a pre-Christmas treat. Some tickets for the five of us to go to an Angele concert, a favourite of the three children, and if I'm honest, me. She's a young creative feminist and I think my girls could have worse role models. I looked down the row at my family and held on to the moment of togetherness. The look of wonder on the youngest's face at all the people surrounding us; the enthusiastic singing along of the middle one and the admiration on the eldest's face despite herself. We saw a fluttering above the crowd and I couldn't believe it, as a butterfly made its way towards the stage. 

After a couple more songs, Angele stopped and waved a hand in front of her face. 'There's this butterfly, Sorry if I'm giggling in the songs, but I'm being dive-bombed by a butterfly.'

So as 2023 gets going I'm going to try and take forward my lessons from 2022. I'm going to make sure music plays a role in my life, and I'm going to take every opportunity to be dive bombed by butterflies.

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