beckity

Today I spent the whole day alone with my litle girl. I haven't done that since October, and in the days leading up to today we have had so many people around taking Elsie off for walks, preparing her food, reading to her, that I was actually a bit concerned about how I'd manage it. Being 38 weeks pregnant and running around with a two year old is not everyone's idea of a restful holiday. I was totally unprepared for the fun we had. We made thank you cards with sticky glittery stars and photos. We rolled out pastry and used new Christmas cookie cutters to make little mince pie hearts and bells. We went out to the supermarket ('delHAIZE') and did the washing and unloaded the dishwasher - all the boring everyday things that are a tad more interesting when you have a little one shadowing you and pointing out the things you might miss ('Daddy t-shirt, WET!'). We had serious conversations ('Mummy tummy BIG!' 'Yes, because there's a baby inside i...

Amul is still the strangest word in her vocabulary. It means yoghurt and it is possible that it always will to her. When she's finished her supper after creche, Elsie invariably asks for an 'amul' - 'Essie Amul!' 'what do you say?' 'peeeeeeeease?' (this last all-important word said with a head tilt and besseching expression.) 'You'd like a yoghurt?' Strong head nod. Slippers are piz-wizz and socks are choks (with the Scottish ch from loch ). This might be because 'sok' in Polish is juice, and she recognises the need for diffferentitation between these two important objects in her life. On the other hand, it might of course just be an idea she's got in her head and is finding hard to shake. Orange is 'oh-wince!' and banana is still missing the 'ba' but the rest of the fruit in our bowl she's got licked. Apple, pear, mango, are all present and correct. Even pineapple is nearly there (pie-apple!) In t...

Elsie turns the baby doll towards her and looks into her face. 'Baby yum yum?' she asks, before shaking a sachet in the direction of the little bowl, stirring it with a tiny plastic spoon and blowing three short sharp blows over it. She thrusts the spoon into the doll's mouth a couple of times before deciding that's enough, and brings the bib up to wipe at her mouth. 'Mulk?' she checks, before carefully placing a finger over the top of the bottle and giving it a good shake. Elsie holds the doll's head steady with one hand while she puts the bottle between the plastic lips. Satisfied that the baby is fed and watered, she flashes me a grin and wanders over to play with something else. I sit, in awe. When did my baby turn into this little girl?

OK, let me get this straight. We pay the commune to reserve space outside our new house to make room for the movers. Despite it being a quiet road, we decide to pay the fee and have the signs so that we have an easy move. When the movers arrive however, your car is parked in the reserved space. The movers call the police, my husband asks round the neighbours to see if they know who the owner of the car is, and the movers have a cigarette break (paid for by us, 100 euros an hour). The police finally arrive, check the signs, and call someone to tow your car. The police tell us we can get a document to claim the money we've wasted on the movers while we wait for your car to be towed. We decide that would be a further waste of time and agree not to. Today, you come to our house, complaining that you didn't see the signs and demanding half of the fee charged to get your car back. We, who paid more because you didn't see what we paid for to be there. Not going to happen.

In a few weeks, when the dust has settled, remind me to tell you about the time I almost burned down the flat by leaving a pan of pasta on the hob while I went to a routine hospital appointment. For a few hours. And then ask about the insurance refusing to cover the repairs to the door the firemen broke down. If I'm a bit hazy on details, you can ground it in the week that one of the guys working on the house almost cut through his arm and had to be operated on for five hours, and how the ambulance guys, since they heard it was done with a knife, turned up with police cars in tow, to find out the full extent of this knife fight. At least Marek now knows where the police station in is our new neighbourhood. Remind me how relieved I was about having hired people here legally and covered by insurance. Once I've told you that story, you can ask about the time a couple of weeks later when we had three sets of house guests, and we moved house. By then, I'll be sitting back in our...

I pass the hot crumpet quickly from hand to hand and drop it onto my plate. 'More!' Elsie says, pointing at it. 'More please Mummy,' I correct, and put a layer of margarine on it, allowing it to melt into the holes. 'Would you like honey on your crumpet?' I ask, and look at Elsie for her nod. Instead, she brings her hand to her mouth, makes a fist and starts tooting. I struggle to keep my face straight. 'Crumpet' I repeat. 'Not trumpet.'

I stick my head around the door and scan the little faces. Elsie's eyes meet mine and she grins, slowly rising from her sprawl on the floor next to a little blond boy. She points at him and explains, wide-eyed 'dwah-buh beri booli ooh.' I nod and smile as she walks over to me, open the little gate and kiss her head. After exchanging pleasantries with the lady on duty, we walk hand in hand out to the corridor, Elsie pausing briefly to wave her other hand and solemnly declare 'bah bayeee' as the lady smiles and replies with 'a demain'. I lift her onto a chair in the cloakroom and she tugs at her slippers. As she puts them in her shoe bag, I lace up her trainers and ask her how her day was. After a brief smile, a thumb is stuck in place and she listens patiently as I explain what's going to happen next. 'We'll walk home, and when we get back you can have something to eat.' I say 'Nana, kek?' she asks hopefully. 'Well, you've ...